Vici, šale in fore

273 naročnikov

Ker je tale forumček postal zame skor edini slo sajt, kerga res redno obiskujem, dajmo še tuki šopat mal z dnevno smešnimi šalami pa vici pa forami, na ktere naletite.

Res je, da bi že lahka sem dal kak prispevek iz tega foruma hehe, sam bom jaz zaenkrat en vic dal, vi pa nadalje ko naletite na kaj pametnega al pa tud butastega.

rešujeta mujo i haso križanku..
pa reče mujo hasotu..šta je to: vrsta povrća, 5 slova?
reče haso: kupus!
mujo: ne ide!
haso: pa daj bolan stavi manju glavicu:)

What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud

What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies !

What does a fish say when it runs into a wall?
DAMN!

What do you call a deer with no eyes ?
I have no I-Deer

What is invisable and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts.

Why are there no asprins in the jungle?
Because the Parots-ate-em-all

Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.

Why do gerillas have big nostralls?
Coz they got big fingers!!!!!!!!!

What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull?
Lipstick

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud
Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles
Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.

What is the difference between a sin and shame?
It’s a sin to stick it in and a shame to take it out.

Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female.
The female egg says “Look, I’ve got a crack”
“No good telling me” replies the male egg “I’m not hard yet”

Q: What do you do when your wife’s staggering?
A: Shoot her again.

How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
When she has a tampon behind her ear and can’t find her pencil

The longest sentence known to man: “I do.”

ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears…

There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?

What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.

What’s the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don’t, you’ve told her twice already!

Ko smo že na 69 strani, pa ena bolj temu primerna.

Square root of 69 = 8 something.

Zdaj razlagal je nebom, če kdo slučajno takoj ne skapira :)).

Why is 6 afraid of 7?
because 7 8 9

You know what a 69 is.
Do you know what a 6.9 is?

A nice 69 interrupted by a period.

Za traffica potrebne:

1. Host a wet T-Shirt contest and offer some sort of prize. Send everyone else to a CPA.
2. Go to your local mart and put stickers of your URL on all of the products.
3. Become a pickup artist and make any chick you talk to go through a content blocker.
4. Hire a bank robber and make him wear a T-Shirt with your security logo on it.
5. Get your flying license and write your URL in the sky.
6. Go to your local library/internet cafe and arrange the keys on the keyboard to spell your URL.
7. Go to karaoke night and sing something that advertises singing lessons.
8. Go to South America and find a talented impoverished young man and put him on the corner to do his thing with your URL displayed.
9. Advertise your CPA at your wedding.
10. Start a riot/protest promoting your site.
11. Get a jackhammer and engrave your URL in the sidewalk.
12. Get arrested for something ridiculous in your are and wear your URL.
13. Go through drive thrus and put your sticker on the voice box.
14. Hack the voice box and when someone tries to order send them to your offer.
15. Get a job at a fast food place and put your URL in every meal.
16. Buy a realistic manikin and hold it hostage on top of a building and demand that people go to your website.
17. Break into someone's house and leave your security offer.
18. Make a new breed of an animal and name it your URL.
19. Fill in as an extra in a movie and get your URL in the shot.
20. Empty out all of the cereal boxes at the local mart and put your offer inside the box.
21. Replace the prize in the box w/ your CPA offer.
22. Slap your sticker on the ass of every hot chick you see.
23. Go up to people and threaten them if they don't go to your URL. Tell them you know where they live.
24. Get a hot air balloon and hover over a major intersection.
25. Put magnets on the front side of your car with the attractive side outwards then bump people at the intersection so your insurance offer will stick to their back bumper.
26. Go to your pastry shop and write your URL in the cakes on display.
27. Offer free beer at a public event and give your offer instead.
28. Become a stripper and tattoo your URL on your body.
29. 28 but put censored bars (a square box) around your goods w/ your URL.
30. Slip your URL in the front cover of every book in your public library.
31. Go to the pet store and train a parrot to repeat your URL.
32. Go to a rest area on the highway and put your URL in the stalls.
33. Become a tattoo artist and put your URL on everyone.
34. Make legit tattoos but put your URL right under it.
35. Work your way into the VMAs and streak while it's live.
36. Get a branding iron with your URL and mark everything that moves. Promote scar healing get or something.
37. Get a lot of people to write in your URL on voting day in your town.
38. Go to the zoo and brand or shave your URL into a monkey.
39. Release a lot of balloons into the atmosphere with your URL attached to each of them.
40. Attach a lot of balloons to a giant sign w/ your URL into the atmoshpere.
41. Hire someone to go on a long car chase w/ your URL on top of the car.
42. Hand out envelopes in front of a supermarket that say don't open until Christmas.
43. Poop your URL on a busy sidewalk.
44. Go peacocking everywhere you go with your URL around your neck.
45. Put arrows on the ground in a busy place leading to your flyer.
46. [M] Put on a cup, go to a busy and manly place and wear a sign around your neck telling people to kick you in the nuts. Put your laptop beside you and make them fill out your free offer first.
47. [F] Like 46 but offer sex. Make them fill out an offer that requires an email and you'll get back at them tonight.
48. Camp out in a busy intersection and write your URL on the tent that you'll be sleeping in.
49. Pick up ice skating and etch your URL in the rink.
50. ...
51. Profit

Slovenska priredba "bosanske verzije" precej popularnega clipa o čefurjih v Sloveniji :) @YouTube

What comes after 69?

Mouthwash.

• Kurt Cobain je umrl s 27 leti.
• Janis Joplin je umrla s 27 leti.
• Jimi Hendrix je umrl s 27 leti.
• Jim Morrison je umrl s 27 leti.
• Amy Winehouse je umrla s 27 leti. Vse je to žalostno, ampak bodimo optimistični.... ...čez 1 leto bo imel tudi Damjan Murko 27 let :D

Neumna blondinka je bila res utrujeni, da so se norčevali iz nje, zato se je odločila, da si bo pobarvala lasje na rjavo
Ko je imela rjave lase, se je odločila, da se gre voziti po podezelju
Potem ko se je ze vozila nekaj časa, je videla kmeta in čredo ovac in misli,
"Oh! Te ovce so tako čudovite in luskane!"
stopila je ven iz avta in vprasala kmeta,
"Če ugotovim, koliko ovac imaš,a lahko eno odnesem domov ?"
Kmet, ki rad stavi , je povedal, da lahko poskusi.
Blondinka pogledal jate in uganili, "157".
Kmet je bil presenečen - jima prav! Torej blond, (ki je videti kot Črna), eno izbere in odide nazaj v njen avto.
Preden je odšla, kmet stopil k njej in reće.
"Če lahko ugotovim resnicno barvo vasih las, lahko imam psa nazaj?"

Ampak, ona ni pravilno ugibala, če je štela še psa. V'c je 156 :)
P.S: a tekst je prišel ven iz Translate kolesja al' si se enostavno, večkrat, precej nerodno zatipkal? :)