What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud
What do cows do for entertainment?
They rent moovies !
What does a fish say when it runs into a wall?
DAMN!
What do you call a deer with no eyes ?
I have no I-Deer
What is invisable and smells like carrots?
Rabbit farts.
Why are there no asprins in the jungle?
Because the Parots-ate-em-all
Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan.
Why do gerillas have big nostralls?
Coz they got big fingers!!!!!!!!!
What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull?
Lipstick
Wanna hear a dirty joke? A little boy falls into the mud
Wanna hear a clean joke? He takes a bath with bubbles
Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is Michal Jackson.
What is the difference between a sin and shame?
It’s a sin to stick it in and a shame to take it out.
Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female.
The female egg says “Look, I’ve got a crack”
“No good telling me” replies the male egg “I’m not hard yet”
Q: What do you do when your wife’s staggering?
A: Shoot her again.
How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
When she has a tampon behind her ear and can’t find her pencil
The longest sentence known to man: “I do.”
ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears…
There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?
What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.
What’s the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don’t, you’ve told her twice already!